Headaches are rare for me, and I suspect they’re telling me that I’m cracking under pressure. Aside from being miserable and always feeling unfulfilled, I’m trapped in a ridiculous situation where not being able to write makes me kind of sick and crazy, and yet, writing for any length of time also makes me kind of sick and crazy. I’m isolated and lonely, but I can’t speak to anyone. I’m bored and idle, but nothing holds my attention. I’m stressed and my muscles are so tense that my body aches, and it’s painful, but nothing seems to relax me. I can’t sleep. I’ll keep trying. Depression is the worst kind of mental torture, trapped in the prison of my own insecure psyche. I just want to go to sleep, permanently.
Ashana Lian .
P.S. The image above is from the book Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig. I also wanted to share a writerly quote:
“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.” ― Graham Greene, Ways Of Escape